Saturday, September 6, 2008

My Likeness

Dear Madalyn,

You reflect so much of your Daddy. Many people have said that it is just crazy to see the two of you look at one another, mirroring the same blue eyes, thick lashes, and expressions. You look so much like him.

As for you and I, well, we share the same freckle on our left ankles. And that's pretty much where the physical similarities begin and end. Some try and say your hair takes after mine because it is curly, but, truth be told, my hair at your age was snow white and about 80% less!

No, we don't resemble one another physically.

But the other day, much to my time-standing-still, slow-motion, prayers-furiously-hurled-towards-heaven horror, you feel down the stairs. Head over feet, all the way from the tippy top to the bitter end. I ran down after you, repeating, "oh no, oh no, oh no" over and over. You must have seen the pure terror on my face. All I wanted to do was scoop you up, assess for broken bones or head injury, and than hold you and make it all better. Praise God, thank You so very, very much, you, my sweet child, were unharmed.

And here is where our similarities begin.

At the bottom of the stairs, in your fear and hurt, you did just like your mama used to do as a child. Like your mama still does. You ran away. You did not want me to hold you or comfort you, did not want my kisses and assurances. You needed to be alone with your pain, to try it on for size, to test your own reserves first. I always did this too. I remember whacking my knee on the table, stubbing my toe, burning my finger, etc., as a child, and running out of the offending room, into a place of solitude. I didn't want anyone to touch me, talk to me, until the pain subsided to a manageable amount.

You, my most precious one, are fiercely independent. Deeply dramatic. Pure girl. And so perceptive of others at such a young age. You told your Aunt Rebekah the other day, out of no where, "You have very pretty eyes." You've been known to tell complete strangers at the playground, "Oh, I like your shoes, girl." You brighten the day of others with your kind words.

I love you more than I can tell you, show you. So, when you fall, baby girl, take all the time you need. Have it all out. But know that I am always here and will do everything in my power to let you know I am always for you.

We like to sing "I'll Stand By You" together (the Carrie Underwood version :). Here's part of it:


"So


If you're mad, get mad


Don't hold it all inside


C'mon and talk to me now


Hey


What you got to hide?


I get angry too


Well, I'm a lot like you.


When you're standing at the crossroads


And don't know which path to chose


Let me come along


Cause even if you're wrong,


I'll stand by you..."

Love,

Mama

2 comments:

Mia and Beepa said...

Laura,

I can't begin to express the emotions this piece stirred in me. You've captured exactly the feelings I had (and have) for you (and Madalyn) as you face life's challenges and insist on wrestling them through.
"My Likeness" is brilliantly written!

Love,
Dad

Rebekah said...

::Tears::
Love you both and all your sameness.